Oh Woe Is Me

Last night was really tough on mom. Her pain was so different. I thought maybe she was having withdrawals from all the morphine and oxy she’s been on since last week, but my Aunt, a 48 year veteran in nursing, told me it’s most likely not that since she’s on other medications in the same family. The only other way to explain her pain last night and also a little bit this morning, is severe anxiety about moving to rehab.

Bless her heart. She had such an awful experience at a nursing home for rehab the last time this happened, I think in the back of her mind she’s remembering, and it’s causing her anxiety where she experiences pain over her entire body, she’s nauseated, goes from hot to cold in minutes, says she can’t breathe and yet her 02 stays between 98/99. Any time anyone mentions rehab, she begins these symptoms within a couple of minutes.

I did get a smile out of her this morning.

I thought it might help to talk it out with her, where she’s going, what to expect as far as rehab and she settled down a bit and began to relax. She was falling asleep when I left.

I stopped at her house and grabbed some papers I need for the rehab facility and then stopped for lunch at Big Red’s Cafe for lunch.

Before I took the first bite I had a little melt down and cried out my woes to the Lord and to Bruce in text. Both of them brought comfort in their words. Bruce assuring me it’s going to be all right and God reminding me of the Psalmist’s words in Psalm 46, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

I’m so thankful for my husband. And I’m thankful for my God.

Lightning Never Strikes Twice

The old saying goes, “Lightning never strikes the same place twice.” With our human eyes, it’s easy to believe that. But truthfully, lightning actually does strike twice in the same place and multiple times more too.

In 2013, the proverbial lightning struck my mother and she took a bad fall in the early morning hours and broke her left femur. From then until several months later it was a physical and spiritual battle for the both of us.

Fast forward to this past Monday, Sept 18th, about 2:00 in the morning when lightning struck twice. Mom took another fall and broke her right femur. On top of that, she dislocated her shoulder which they put back in place that night and she may have surgery in the months to come. For now, we worry about the femur injury.

Her creatine levels were too high so she had to wait until Friday afternoon for surgery. Many people were praying and I’d be lying if I said I wondered if God was listening or could hear those prayers on her behalf. Deep down I knew He was listening and I knew He could hear. But it just seemed to take forever to see Him move. When Friday came and surgery was set for that afternoon, my friend said that when He’s four days late, He’s still on time. I’m thankful I serve THAT God.

It has been agonizing watching her suffer.

Since she’s been in the hospital, she’s gotten a pressure ulcer on her right heel, surgery to repair her femur, an injured shoulder, her hemoglobin has dropped considerably so she’s receiving blood as I type this, and she has a UTI.

She has maxed out on morphine and OxyCodone and they’re changing her meds today to two others in hopes it will relieve some of the pain she’s having.

As I sit here and listen to her moan or cry out, it’s almost all I can stand. She’s so pitiful. There’s really nothing I can do for her except rub her arm and tell her to breathe through the pain.

She is one tough cookie, this one. And continually apologizes to the nurses for “being a baby,” in her words. Gracious! If I were in her bed, I’d be hollering out too.

The other night I overheard my Aunt say about mom, “She’s being challenged.”

It’s true. This is definitely her Goliath, come to challenge her. I see a little David in her rising to that challenge and I know that her God, like little David’s, will be the champion at the end of this story.

David picked up five smooth rocks to fight that giant. Five is the number of grace in Scripture and with God’s grace, David only needed one to kill his Goliath.

Mom has no rocks in her hands on this battlefield. But she does have the same grace little David had on his battlefield and she has the same Champion standing beside her to fight this battle for her.

“The battle’s not mine, said little David,

Lord it’s thine, I’m in Your favor

I’ve given it all to You

Lord, You know what to do

I’m so glad you set me free

You’re really all that I need

For the battle’s not mine, I give it to you

Lord it’s thine.”

Please pray for my mom if you think of her. I know she would appreciate it and so would I.

Two In One Month!

Wow! I can’t believe I have time to type a second blog post this month. That’s a record for sure.

This month we have gone on vacation, I’ve helped a friend with planning her wedding, we’ve taken a trip with our church family to Boone and West Jerfferson, and we’ve helped our youngest move into his very first own place.

Well, I tried to get two in one month. I started this post back in August and never got around to finishing it. Should have known it was too good to be true.

Since then, we’ve celebrated Labor Day, which was really just us hanging around the house doing things we’ve gotten behind on. But we did go to supper that night and I got a visit in with Justin and Brittany that morning. That was nice.

I had an eye appointment and they dilated my eyes. That was NOT nice. As far as I can remember, that was the first time I’ve had that done and I’ve worn glasses for years. But it was a new Optometrist and apparently he does that to all new patients. I respect that. But I sure didn’t like it. I ended up not being able to go to work and spent the day in my bedroom with the shutters closed. It was very dark, which was what I needed. My new glasses should be in soon. Yay.

I enjoyed our church’s 14th annual women’s conference. It was so good! Probably the best conference I’ve ever attended to date. I got so much from the speakers. One in particular. It was quite convicting.

We also had a lot of fun Sunday after church at our Sunday School class Birthday luncheon. It’s always fun to be around those people. But the best part of the lunch was when Pastor came into the restaurant and announced that a young lady that had gone to the alter during church, received Christ after church. Praise the Lord!

We started learning a new song in Spanish class… Cuan Grande es el, translated meaning “How big is He.” You would know it as How Great Thou Art. I pondered on the translation and thought, He truly is a big God. There is none other like Him and there will be none other like Him. Hallelujah!

It’s been quiet at the office for about two weeks. At least on my job. The other two secretaries have been very busy at their jobs in accounting and printing. I kind of like things busy, myself. I’ve dusted, ran the vacuum, emptied trash cans, printed emails and a couple of prayer letters, and updated the mission board’s webpage. I’ve watched some tutorials on things I can do to better at my job here as far as computer work. It’s been an interesting couple of weeks. I’m thankful nothing has happened that would overwhelm me since our General Director and his wife (who has been training me) have been out of the country. They flew back this morning so I’ll insert another Hallelujah right here. I was nervous while they were gone, but only because I was afraid that something would happen and I wouldn’t know how to handle it without her. So far so good. There’s still another hour and forty minutes in the work day. *spit-spit* *knock on wood.*

New Beginnings Again

It may come to a shock to some but most people know, I took a position as a secretary at a nearby mission board. It is an honor to serve the Lord in this capacity. Today we are printing 10,000 tracts to be sent to a church for their distribution. Some may think that’s not very exciting, but it is when you know the possiblity of a soul being reached is at their finger tips if they’ll just put their trust in Him.

Bruce and I are about to become “empty nesters.” I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly. Sometimes it makes me sad. And other times I’m glad to see the Lord open doors for our children to grow both physically and spiritually. And also allow some time for Bruce and I to get used to the quiet. Ha!

Justin and Brittany are still very much involved in serving the Lord through music and youth at their church. They stay pretty busy all the time. I enjoy seeing cars in their driveway, knowing they are showing hospitality to their siblings or friends from church. Hospitality is an admirable trait.

Hannah and Roger are enjoying all the moments of being newlyweds. We don’t see much of them but it’s good to see them so in love and enjoying all the newness of marriage together. Hannah is still working in the Pharmacy at the hospital and Roger is serving our community as a Police Officer. Hannah and Roger are both serving in both of their churches. They can’t seem to settle on whose church to stay at, so their churches get the best of both of them in the mean time as they serve together.

Harrison bought a Barber Shop and is doing really well here in town. He just made a deposit on his first rental home. We’re excited to see him fly on his own. We’re proud of the hard worker he is and look forward to seeing what God can do for him in the future. He’s still serving in his church and in his spare time, enjoys being with his best friends.

In May we saw Hannah turn another year older. June brought another birthday for Justin and I saw the end of the school year and a summer job for me here at the mission board. July brought me sad tears as I let go of teaching and happy tears as I embraced my new position as a secretary at the mission board. We also enjoyed our very first Family VBS at church. It was amazing! If your church has never done this, you would love it. The families are together at all times. We would start in the gym for supper and crafts together. They move to the sanctuary for games, a Bible story read to the children by our Pastor as they sat around his feet, and then a lesson for all. It was fabulous! August brought us vacation time for Bruce and me. We loved a whole week of doing nothing but reading and going ’round and ’round the Lazy River. We shopped and ate great food, read books and napped. This is our hottest month of the year here where we live. Thank the Lord for Air Conditioning! Next month is filling up quickly with revivals, conferneces, time with friends, and another short get-away with Bruce.

I asked one of our missionaries if I could share this picture and story and he graciously said yes. Brother Andrade is a missionary in Hondruas and he took a team to a very large landfill there where hundreds and hundreds of families gather to dig through garbage to get their food and whatever else they can find to meet their needs. They took bookbags, school supplies, and snacks to the children along with a Bible for each one as well. As they were leaving the landfill they became stuck in traffic. Brother Andrade noticed a little boy sitting in the grass alone. He called the boy to his car and gave him a bookbag, school supplies, snacks, and a Bible. The little boy ran back to his spot in the grass and opened his new Bible and bagan reading. Brother Andrade and his team sat in traffic for a very long time and watched the little boy never put his new Bible down. He continued reading it until they could no longer see him. I pray that God’s Word takes root in his little heart and he receives Christ as his Savioiur one day. Pray for these missionaries as they try to reach and minister to the people of Honduras.

Thats all the updates for now. God is good through all of our days. Even the really tough ones. We are blessed to have Him on our side.

You Didn’t Notice

School wrapped up a couple weeks ago and I am now working for a mission board for the summer. I miss seeing the children at school but enjoy the little break. While I’m working at the mission board, the Pastor and a couple of the men at the church where I teach are putting up my classroom walls and have finished the new gymnasium. I am over the moon excited about this upcoming year.

I’m only working part time this summer, which is a blessing. It gives me a longer weekend that helps me keep up with laundry and needed cleaning. I love that.

I was off the other day and I got up early doing just that… laundry and cleaning. I washed our bed linens, caught up on Mount Washmore, and took my time cleaning and getting ready for church that night.

Bruce came home, walked through the Pine Sol and Lemon Lysol scented house, put his things away, walked through the house and began to get ready to step into the shower before he said, “What did you do today?” Now, the thoughts that went through my head were not to get upset with him. He just had a long day at work and while I took my time under no pressure, he was under pressure to get things done by a specific time. PLUS I had three hours extra sleep than he did. So I simply replied, “Nothin’. Just laundry and cleaning.” Which as I thought about it, I suppose if he didn’t notice then maybe the house wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.

We decided to eat supper at Zaxby’s that night. If you’ve never had their Cobb Zalad, what are you waiting for? Anyway, we sat down and prayed and then I said, “You hurt my feelings.” He kind of laughed because he could tell I was kind of kidding. I told him it was because I had done laundry and cleaned all day and he didn’t notice. Then we both started laughing as he tried to convince me that he did, in fact, notice and everything looked so great and he couldn’t wait to crawl in bed on clean sheets and pillows.

The very next day I enjoyed some time with my friend for breakfast and coffee, stopped to see the progress on the school, and ran an errand before my hair appointment for a color, cut, and curl. When Bruce got home I was in the kitchen doing a few dishes and as he walked through the door I could hear him declare, “I’m home! I’m walking through the door. Ohhhhhh, it looks so clean and smells so good in the house!” I came around the corner, kissed him hello and smiled. He kept going on about how clean the house was all the while looking straight at me. The more he bragged on the house, the funnier it because that he wasn’t noticing my hair, which sent me into hysterical laughter. He thought I was laughing at him being silly. I was. But it was the combination of the two that made it so funny. He was laughing right along with me and that was just the icing on the proverbial cake for me.

Finally I stepped back still laughing and he said, “What are you laughing at, really?” And I said, “That you keep going on about the house you didn’t notice yesterday and you haven’t noticed my hair today.” And then we both laughed hard.

It’s great to find someone you can laugh with and thankfully we have laughed a lot in our thirty-three years.

Stepping Outside My Culture Box

I’m not sure if that’s the title I want but it fits. So we’ll go with it. 

We’ve had a lot going on in our family over the last several months. Our sweet baby girl walked the isle to the man of her dreams and they vowed their lives to each other.  It was a beautiful ceremony and we are so very happy for Hannah and Roger. We pray the Lord will always bless their marriage and they will always consider Him the most important part of their marriage. 

Secrets

There are many reasons someone keeps a secret. It could be something you know about someone, some fun secret you have between you and your children/ grandchildren, or between just your family. Sometimes we keep secrets for engagements, baby announcements, Christmas. 

Looking through Scripture, there were many times one wanted to keep a secret. But these secrets were to cover up sin.

Adam and Eve shared a secret after eating the forbidden fruit. 

Cain had a secret when he killed his brother, Abel.

Joseph’s brothers kept a secret from their father when they sold Joseph into slavery.

Peter kept a secret from people when he tried to deny Christ three times.

Ananias and Sapphira tried to keep their secret of holding back from the church. 

And many more stories of people trying to keep a secret from God. 

The thing is, God knew about every single one. There’s nothing we can say or do in secret that God doesn’t already know. He’s known since before the beginning of time what secrets we would try to keep. 

Luke 8:17 says, “For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” 

We may think we’re hiding sin but the truth is, God is the only One that keeps a secret. There are things only God knows and only God understands that our small minds will never know. He knows EVERYTHING. And eventually those things we do in secret manifests itself, either in us, on us, or the truth comes out. He always shines Light on the truth. 

There are also things we keep secret we need to shout from the rooftops. We don’t need to keep God’s goodness a secret. We don’t need to keep His love for us a secret. We don’t need to keep the promises in His Word a secret. And we definitely don’t need to keep the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ a secret. 

We’re to tell all nations. We’re to go into the highways and hedges.

Sometimes Christians think the gospel is only good for ourselves. But Psalm 96:3 says we’re to Declare His glory to the Heathen, his wonders among all people.

People need to know that Christ is The Way, The Truth, and The Life and HE IS THE ONLY WAY!

2 Thessalonians tells us we are called by the gospel. We have a responsibility to let the secret out about our God and about what the Bible says about Him, our Hope we possess in Him, and our future in Heaven with Him.

“It is no secret what God can do

What He’s done for others, He’ll do for you

With arms wide open He will pardon you

It is no secret what God can do.”

Next Time, I’ll Go to CFA

I bought supper from Zaxby’s this evening. I had ordered us both Cobb zalads with a side of the boneless chicken wings.

The cashier asked me something but I could not hear him, he was talking so low and in a mumble. I had to ask him to repeat himself twice. But he never did speak up. So I kindly told him, “Honey, I can’t hear or understand what you’re saying.”

To which he replied, “DO YOU WANT THAT AS A MEAL OR JUST THE FIVE BONELESS WINGS?”

I mean, he was so loud, y’all, the customers in the parking lot probably heard him.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, really laughing. He on the other hand was not laughing. He really seemed annoyed at me. If so, I gotta say that even though I laughed, the feeling was kind of mutual.

Then while I was scanning my receipt for the Fetch App while waiting on my order, another cashier I had not even seen up until that moment, who thought I was adding my order to my Zaxby’s app, leaned over to me and said, “While you’re doing that, will you put me down as your cashier and tell how nice I was? My name is ______. Thanks!”

I got yelled at by one employee and asked to lie by another.

I should have gone to Chick-fil-A.

Hot Dog Casserole

If you try to watch carbs and enjoy a hot dog once in a while, this is a pretty good meal.

I like making my own chili and using grated cheese. But since I haven’t been to the grocery store in more than a minute and I was short on time, I decided to use canned chili and cut up some blocked cheese I had.

Also, I am not a huge fan of hot dogs, but I do like the beef dogs from Lidl in the green package. They’re juicy and tastes so much better than the other brands you’ll find in the average grocery store.

All you do is cut up your dogs into bite size pieces and place them in a pan. Make your chili or do what I did tonight and use a can of chili to cover the hot dog pieces evenly. Top that with cheese and place in the oven at 350° until cheese is melted and just browning.

Bruce and I like to put mustard and ketchup on ours and I made cole slaw for the side.

Home Alone

As ridiculous as this may sound, there are three things I have consistent nightmares of:

*My husband or children dying

*Tornadoes

*Vampires

Yes, I do have nightmares about vampires. I’m not positive, but when I was little my daddy would watch the old black and white movies that would play when he got off second shift and children should have been in bed. I would always hear him come in the front door and then I would crawl out of my bed with blanket and bear in tow and scrooch up next to him in his chair to watch a movie with him. Most nights we would share a snack before I’d fall asleep next to him. Eventually he would carry my blanket, my bear, and me, back to my room and tuck me back in my bed with all of my stuffed animals all around my head and shoulders.

Sometimes those movies were the old black and white vampire movies and I think they must’ve stuck in my brain because I have some doozy nightmares of them sometimes, still to this day!

I think all mothers at one time or another have nightmares of their family members and, especially their children, dying and it’s usually very tragic. Having nightmares about tornadoes, pretty much my entire life, I had one where all of my children were killed in a tornado. Two birds in one nightmare, you might say.

Currently we are experiencing a tornado watch in our area until 10:00 pm tonight. It’s only 6:30 and I’m by myself. Harrison is helping at a local rescue mission with his church and Bruce is with his mom, as he is every Thursday night. So for the first part of this scary storm, I sat in the hallway texting my children to make sure they knew to stay put and be safe.

As I sat there I felt it was kind of ridiculous to work myself up into a frenzy. Was I afraid to die or just afraid to die alone?

And then the Lord brought to mind my daddy’s life verse that I adopted as my own when he passed to Heaven, “Fear thou not, for I am with thee…” Isaiah 41:10.

I wasn’t alone. I have my Savior! I have the Holy Spirit! I have God!

Fear can be crippling for the mind. But once you realize the Lord God of Heaven and earth and the One Who controls the winds and the rains and, yes, the tornadoes, is in charge, there’s an odd and strange peace that settles over the soul.

Here I am, in this moment, with the winds howling and the rains beating, at peace with the Lord and still in this storm.

Spiritual storms have the same affect if you know the Savior. Do you know Him? Or better yet, does He know you? Him knowing you is what will make all the difference in the world and in the world to come.

If you haven’t trusted Him, now is a good time to seek His face and pray.

An F3 tornado sets down in a field.